Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Aliens and Pantyhose

I witnessed a probably innocuous event at work today that got me thinking. Do we walk amongst aliens?

I was walking down the hallway about 15 feet behind another employee when out of the blue he stops and swings an imaginary golf club. I stopped half out of surprise and half out of wanting to see what else he might do. He stops in mid swing and then cocks his head in a very quick and unhumanlike manner, waits for few more seconds, and then starts walking again. Maybe he’s an alien? One of my very good friends says she saw an alien aircraft some years back. She is as normal as the rest of us and I have no reason to not believe her EXCEPT the bible, or at least my interpretation of it, doesn’t talk about aliens. Well it doesn’t talk about dinosaurs either but the fossils are there so they must have been around at some point. Or maybe God created the fossils just to screw with us. I do believe that God is the single master but is it only our universe or does he have all kinds of others that he is ruling? I told one of my other coworkers about the 'golfer' and now we both think he is an alien.

The Pantyhose Incident
For the third time in 2 years, I walked out of the rest room at work with my skirt tucked in the back of my pantyhose. As with all my other memory lapses, I forget to check my skirt before I walk out of the bathroom but remember (sometimes) on the way back to my desk. As my memory makes a brief appearance, I stop dead in my tracks, much like my alien co-worker in the story above and scramble to make sure that my hindquarters are not on display. I think I have discovered something that will help me keep my skirt from getting tucked in. My skirts are really flowy and this particular skirt has 2 layers so instead of just gathering it up and squatting, I gather it all in front of me and put all the layers into the underneath most layer and holding that under my chin while I pull up my underwear and hose. Picture gathering berries in an apron where the apron is my slip and the berries are all the layers of my skirt. Or maybe I should just stop wearing pantyhose?

1 comment:

  1. Yes, you should stop wearing pantyhose! I wear pantyhose all the time and not once did I have this problem. Maybe you just don't have what it takes to wear pantyhose? I recommend keeping your legs bare!